


ALL the Stupid.  All of It

by debwalsh



Series: Bingo-Bingo [16]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, Marvel Bingo 2019, Rescue Missions, murder strut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-10
Updated: 2019-05-10
Packaged: 2020-02-29 09:48:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18775804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/debwalsh/pseuds/debwalsh
Summary: Bucky’s stuck at home waiting for Steve to get back from a mission.  But when the Avengers have to leave Steve behind to bring their injured home, nothing is gonna stand in Bucky’s way to get his best guy back.  He might just kill Steve for taking one too many risks, but he’s not about to let his fella down.Written for my amazing Patreon patron kiaraaine!  This fills the Murder Strut D3 square of my Marvel Bingo card.





	1. Murder Strut

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kiaraaine](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiaraaine/gifts).



> You might be able to tell I’m having a blast writing to prompts. This was a fun one, combining Murder Strut with Rescue Mission. The title just came to me. Because you know that for Bucky to go all murder strut on a rescue mission, Steve had to have done something stupid.

Bucky lay on the couch, prosthetic arm folded under his head as he flicked his knife ceilingward with his flesh hand.  He’d already made a star pattern with knife points, and he was contemplating adding concentric rings to make it look more like Steve’s shield.  
  
Fact was, he was benched because of an injury that was already itchy and nearly healed.  And that left him bored, lonely, and horny while Steve was on mission. So defacing Stark Junior’s ceiling gave him a bitchy sense of satisfaction.  Bucky Barnes was unapologetically an asshole, thank you very much. Had to be to survive having Steve “Nothing is too Stupid” Rogers as his life partner.    
  
He’d just flipped the knife upward in a dazzling pirouette when Pepper Potts came into the room.  He was admiring his form and technique when she cleared her throat and said icily, “James, we’ve talked about this.”  
  
“Steve’s on a mission and I don’t have anyone to play with.”  
  
“That doesn’t justify defacing my ceiling.”  
  
“It’s art.  A Bucky Barnes original.  I’ll climb up there and sign it, it’ll be worth something someday.”  
  
She walked over to where he manspread the couch, rapped her knuckles against his ankles, and stood there glaring at him until he swung his feet down and sat up.  “Thank you,” she said with that deliciously regal air she only used on him when he was being a special pain in her ass. He loved this woman fiercely, most especially for her take no prisoners, take no shit attitude.  It was refreshing and humbling, and he knew he could use a dose of that every so often.  
  
“How about I get you a dart board?”  
  
“Put Tony’s face on it?”  
  
She tilted her head and delivered a withering look to him that almost made him feel guilty.  Almost.  
  
“Fine.  On the ceiling?”  
  
“In your apartment.”  
  
“That’s no fun.  Last place I wanna be is my apartment when Steve’s on a mission.  It’s too ... Steve-less. I hate it.”  
  
She held out her hand to him, palm up, and he smiled, threading his big fingers with her slender ones.  “I hate it when Tony’s gone, too. I mean, I know the suit makes him powerful. And he’s smart, clever. The team is good. I trust them with my life.  But every time they take off on a mission -“  
  
“You worry. You worry you’re not there on his six, you’re not there to take the shot that takes out the bad guy who was gonna take him away from you.  You worry until he comes home, and then -“  
  
“You can’t stop yelling at him about the stupid risks he takes, the way he acts like he’s invincible, indestructible.  And then you’re reminded -“  
  
“How much you love the fucker.  How impossible your life would be without him. And -“  
  
“You just can’t wait to get him alone and jump his bones.”  
  
“Why, Ms. Potts.  We have more in common than i thought.”  
  
“I’m not made of ice.  And I do. Love him. I think I always have.”  
  
“Yeah.  I know I have.  I may not remember everything, but that much I do.  That much I know. He’s it for me. I just wish -“  
  
“That I was enough for him.  Enough so he wouldn’t feel the need to go on these missions -“  
  
“To take too many risks, to bet everything, and not think about how much I’d miss him if he didn’t come home.  What it would do to me -“  
  
“If I had to face the world without him.  Okay, that’s enough feelings. How about we hit the freezer up for a couple gallons of ice cream.”  
  
“Woman, you are my platonic soulmate.  No one gets me like you do.”  
  
&&&  
  
Bucky and Pepper had already made some serious inroads to their respective ice cream - a pint for Pepper, a gallon for Buck - when JARVIS announced, “Sir, Madame.  The QuinJet is on approach to the Tower.”  
  
“Great, patch me through to Steve, J.”  
  
“I am sorry, Sergeant Barnes.  Captain Rogers is not aboard the QuinJet, sir.”  
  
“What the fuck now?” Bucky demanded, already up and running toward the stairs.  The elevator would be too slow, and besides, he had a horrific surge in energy he’d have to burn off before he started shooting things - or people.  
  
He tore onto the roof as the QuinJet was touching down, and was at the ramp as it started to drop down.  He vaulted up onto the ramp and was inside facing the team before the hatch had fully engaged.  
  
“Where’s Steve?”  
  
Wilson stepped forward, separating from the phalanx of Avengers.  “We were under heavy fire, Nat took a gut shot,” he nodded toward where Banner was rolling the gurney with Nat strapped in, Barton holding a thick folded towel pressed against her abdomen, the blood stain spreading even with the pressure he was applying.  “Steve said to get out of there.”  
  
“And where was there?  We don’t leave anyone behind, Sam.  Why the fuck would you leave Steve, of all people, behind?”  
  
“There is an underground Hydra facility outside Boston.  And we left him there because he told us to go, Barnes,” Stark said, coming down from the cockpit.  “He said he could handle it.”  
  
“Steve who looks at a grenade and thinks that maybe if he lays on top of it, it’ll hatch Steve?  Steve, who has the self preservation instincts of a fruit fly? The idiot who punched a fucking tank? That Steve?  Need I go on? That’s who you left behind?”  
  
“We left Captain America, the Sentinel of Liberty. The Super Soldier -”  
  
“My fucking fiancé.  The one who took all the stupid with him.  Gimme the coordinates. I’m gonna go get him.  You asswipes don’t get to lose my guy. Now get outta here, I’m takin’ off now.”  
  
He stalked away toward the cockpit without another word, leaving Wilson and Stark in his wake.  
  
&&&  
  
“Y’know, I am very comfortable with my sexuality, man. But lookin’ at that ass when he’s in full murder strut mode?  I can sorta see what Steve sees in him.”  
  
“You’n’me both, Sam.  You’n’me both. Now, come on - I need to get in touch with Rhodey, see if he’ll meet us up in Boston.”  
  
The two of them hurried down the ramp just before it began to close, and Tony was already tapping his ear to trigger the call to his friend.  
  
A few seconds later, the whine of the QuinJet’s engines made conversation impossible, and then it was in the air again.  
  
“Hey, wait - if Barnes has the QuinJet, how’m I getting back to Boston?”  
  
“You got wings, right?    
  
“No, you are not making me fly the wings all the way back to Boston!”  
  
“Maybe.  Maybe not.  May have something a little sleeker, a prototype maybe.  But only if you ask nice -“  
  
“Oh, fuck you, man.  I should’a just gone back with Barnes.”  
  
“Oh, no.  I wouldn’t recommend that.  Mama Bear in full protect mode?  I assure you, we’re gonna have to have the QuinJet steam-cleaned once those two get back together.  But you’re welcome to pilot while they get their reunion on.”  
  
“You really are as horrible as they say, man.”  
  
&&&


	2. Rescue Mission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Bucky gets his guy. In more ways than one.

Bucky completed pre-flight checks in record time.  He checked fuel levels and deemed them sufficient for the task.  He spared a grudging glance at the rear sensors to confirm Wilson and Stark were far enough that they wouldn’t get caught in the backwash.  
  
And then he was airborne.  
  
Flight time to Boston from New York was much shorter than flying commercial, but it still chafed.  
  
His own personal Idiot was somewhere outside of Boston, probably injured, potentially in Hydra custody, possibly being tortured.    
  
Bucky was gonna kill him.  
  
&&&  
  
Steve regretted telling the team to leave without him almost as soon as the words were out of his stupid mouth.  
  
He’d thought they’d routed the worst of the Hydra personnel, only to discover another group buried deep within the facility.  And these assholes were armed with weapons that, while they couldn’t kill him, could really fucking sting.  
  
But they were greedy, and the lure of being the agents to capture Captain America seemed to override any sense of self-preservation these idiots possessed.  They’d been chasing him up through the levels of the facility until they were nearly in the open. Steve had made a break for it while they were still navigating the elevator he’d been riding on.  And now he made sure he had a vantage point that would lock them into the throat of the entrance. He was hoping to draw them out just a little more so he could toss one of Buck’s favorite toys, a shrapnel grenade, into the entrance to cut off their escape back inside.  Then it should be a fairly simple matter to play pinball with the shield and their heads.  
  
They came boiling out of the entrance like ants escaping an ant hill on fire, but Steve held his ground, waiting for the last of the to clear the doorways.  He didn’t want to kill anyone unless he had to.   
  
“Come on, come on,” he muttered to himself, watching the entrance closely.  There! That looked like the last straggler. He was about to lob his grenade when something whistled overhead and then slammed into the closed door of the facility.  There was no debris from the impact, but a concussive wave spread out explosively, an invisible wall of sound that drove the Hydra team to their knees, clutching their heads in pain.  Then they were all out cold on the ground. From his vantage, Steve could feel the wave in the way his teeth itched, and he had to grin to himself.  
  
“Goddamned idiot,” Bucky complained dropping down to crouch right next to Steve.  “I can’t let you outta my sight, can I?”  
  
“Aren’t you supposed to be recuperating?”  
  
“Aren’t you supposed to be looking after that fine ass and bringing it home to me?”  
  
“I had ‘em on the ropes, Buck.”  
  
“Uh-huh.  Looked that way, baby.  Nat’s fine, by the way. Checked in with Barton when I landed.  I think I mighta singed Flyboy’s tail feathers on take-off. They’ll grow back, I’d expect.”  
  
“That’s a relief.  She didn’t look so hot when they pulled her out.”  
  
“Bruce is using some of that Cho magic to fix her up. She’ll be strangling you with her thighs in no time.”  
  
“It was one time, when we were sparring.  One time. Are you ever gonna let me hear the end of it?”  
  
“Nobody strangles you with their thighs but me, dollface.  I got a monopoly on thigh strangling, and don’t you forget it.”  
  
“Noted.  Whaddya wanna do with these guys?”  
  
“I mighta put in a call to Coulson’s team.  They’re on their way to collect their prizes.  Figure they can deal with the servers and intel - that’s why I didn’t blow up the entrance like you were planning to.  Who needs to deal with digging out when a concussion grenade works just as well, with half the mess?”  
  
“Show off.”  
  
“Damned straight.  Now, you ready to go home, sweet cakes?”  
  
“Whatcha got in mind?”  
  
“You’re just gonna have to haul that ass of yours home to find out.  Interested?”  
  
“In you?  Always.”  
  
Just then, Stark’s voice came over the comm, announcing that he and Rhodes were in route.  
  
“Copy that.  I got Steve, we’re heading home.  But he found some new playmates while you  guys left him here on his own. Coulson’s on his way to take custody.  You might wanna play with their toys while they wait, though. Steve didn’t manage to completely destroy the place, after all.”  
  
“Um, okay,” Stark replied dubiously.  “Are you saying you don’t need backup, Barnes?”  
  
“I never need backup.  But thanks for playing.  We’re heading back now. See ya on the flip side.”  
  
“Leave it, Tony,” they heard Rhodey say placatingly over the sputter that was Stark.  
  
“Come on, sugarlips.  I’m feeling frisky.”  
  
“You all healed up, Buck?”  
  
Bucky grabbed Steve by the shield harness straps and pulled him close.  They were nose to nose when he smirked, then bent his head to kiss Steve soundly.  Thoroughly, even.   
  
“Whaddya think, Stevie?  Am I healed enough?”  
  
“I think you better take me home, Buck.”  
  
“Now you’re talking.  I got a lot of bored and horny to work off, so save your strength - it’s gonna be a bumpy ride, fella.”  
  
“Turn your damned comms off! And don’t you dare get frisky in my QuinJet!” Stark shouted.  
  
Bucky grinned as he thumbed off the communicator, slung his arm around Steve’s shoulders, and waved cheekily at the Hydra operatives who were starting to come to.  Bucky casually aimed his weapon, and set off another concussion wave, and they were out again.  
  
“Come on.  Let’s let JARVIS drive while you’n’me christen every possible surface in that damned plane of Stark’s.”  
  
“You have the best ideas.”  
  
“Someone’s gotta, baby.  Might as well be me.”  
  
END

**Author's Note:**

> These boys. Living their best lives together!
> 
> Let me know what you think!
> 
> Find me on the web: https://linktr.ee/debwalshweb


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